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A (Positive) Birth Story for a Change.
September 25, 2017
Adriana Solorzano
It's 7 months since the birth of my little man, Xavier. It never occurred to me to share my birth story, because a) it's a private experience and b) I didn't think people would really care. However, through The Brisbane Barre Studio I've been meeting more and more women who are either pregnant with their first, or are planning to have a family soon, and have shared with me that they are petrified of labour. I completely understand this. I felt exactly the same way, heck I didn't even want children for the most part (but that's a different story).
So to come out the other side and say that I will forever remember my birthing experience as one of the most awe-inspiring and positive experiences of my life. is a big call - but it's true. Here's the thing, there are lots and lots of women who have had positive experiences, and the more that I heard those stories the greater the belief that I had in myself leading up to my due date. Let me clarify - when I say a positive experience, I mean that you're not petrified, you believe that you can handle whatever happens and you feel supported and NEVER alone.
I went from petrified at the beginning of pregnancy, to having this unwavering belief that I could do this. The result? A spontaneous, quickish 6 hour (active phase) labour, with 20 minutes pushing, no complications, completely natural and no medicated pain relief. It was exactly as I had envisioned in my mind over and over, and over the 9 months prior. Don't get me wrong it was the most intense thing ever. Like nothing I've ever experienced, and it pushed me to my edge. In hindsight I loved that. I loved that I needed to step up and believe in myself and trust my body like never before. It was a fast and intense labour that towards the end had me on the shower floor, clinging onto every ounce of strength that I had left. It was hard, hard work in every possible way.
And then before I knew it, I had my little guy in my arms. It was surreal, and fast! My OB didn't even make it to the hospital in time and I can remember giving my birth team a high-five - yelling out "we did it team"...
I'm sharing my story to demonstrate that for every "bad" story you may hear; I think there are just as many "good" stories. And while every woman's experience is unique, and it's part luck/part preparation what happens on the day, if you're out there a little nervous (read scared shit less) about labour, below are the things that helped me the most:
1. Cheryl - my doula. Total game changer. If you don't know what a doula is, or you think they're all hippy then please check out this lady at Ideal Birth. Cheryl was my birth coach, that person in my corner who believed in me (long before I believed in myself), who had been present at hundreds of births before and who on the day intuitively knew what I needed. Over the course of my pregnancy my husband and I met Cheryl to talk things through and get emotionally and mentally prepared. Worth every penny. Truly.
2. This book - Birth Skills by Juju Sundin. This is the book that took me from, "maybe I can do this" to " bring it on - I've got this". It's practical, there's no bullshit and explains in simple language what your body is actually doing. As a fitness professional this book appealed to me as it explained why we experience pain and most importantly how the hell do we deal with it. It also explains what you need to do to rest between each contraction.If you're wanting to try for an active labour get this book.
3. Having a plan/s to "match the pain". There's no two ways about it, you have a muscle (your uterus) working incredibly hard during labour and it hurts. According to Juju's book you need to have a way to "channel the pain out". Plan A for me was to stomp, squat and walk around during each contraction, except that on the day my contractions were so intense that my legs would shake (yes -like in a barre class) uncontrollably during each contraction, there was no way I was walking anywhere. So I moved to Plan B. On all fours, punching like mad into a bean bag and yelling out in the weirdest primal, cave-woman noise I have ever heard. Kind of embarrassing at first, but you get over yourself pretty damn quickly.
4. My (simple) mantra. "I'm doing this, I'm doing this, I'm doing this" I repeated this over and over and over before, during and after each contraction. Labour is a mental battle with yourself for the most part. My fear kept telling me I couldn't do it, but I knew better. I don't know how I knew, but I just knew that if could hang on, stay present and trust the process that I could get through it without the need for any pain-relief.
5. Last but certainly not least, my husband. What a trooper, I never felt like I was doing it alone. Sure, I did the heavy lifting but I think back on my labour as a true team effort, with my husband with me every step of the way. I think it really set the benchmark for how well we co-parent now. Ladies, when it comes to this, ask for what you want from your partner (beforehand).
I've been very hesitant to share my story. I don't want any women to feel like giving birth has to be done a certain way to be "right". I don't want a woman to feel disappointed that their experience turned out differently or that if you do need pain relief that it's weak - not AT ALL. As I said, a positive experience in my view is one where you go into it believing that you can handle whatever happens, you feel supported, heard and NEVER alone. The more that you know that this can happen the better you'll feel, regardless of how that little person arrives in your arms.
Look at this gorgeous new family.
As a wedding planner Danielle from white + white weddings and events knew the value of having a birth planner. Initially John wasn't fussed on hiring childbirth support. Like many men he was under the impression this service would be provided by the hospital. It is only in hindsight that the true value of childbirth support reveals itself....in John's words "Cheryl was worth her weight in gold and in hindsight I would have paid double for her service". Even when a birth or wedding doesn't go exactly to plan we can reassure, protect and support through the changes to ensure a positive and amazing experience. Danielle is your go to girl if you are planning or know anyone planning a wedding. You don't get to do over your birth or your wedding if it doesn't come together on the day. Happy memories are priceless.
Soon after I became pregnant I found myself fascinated (and slightly obsessed) about all things birth! I kept coming across the term “Doula" and after learning they were a birth planner I was sold. As a wedding planner, myself I understand the importance of having support in the lead up and on the day of the wedding. A “Doula" was my “Franck”providing invaluable birth information in the lead up and being by my side for the entire 15 hour labour. The service continued post birth with Cheryl sending me positive messages of support and a delicious veggie lasagne.
Cheryl was recommended to me by my Obstetrician and after meeting her I knew she was the one for me. My plan (like many) didn’t go to plan. I was induced five days after my due date due. Cheryl literally held my hand throughout the whole birth and made the experience an extremely positive one. I began motherhood with a new found confidence which has continued to this day.
Initially my partner was not fussed in hiring a Doula. He didn’t see why we had to spend more money on a service he thought was provided by the hospital. However after experiencing me going through an intense labour he did eat his words and admitted “Cheryl was worth her weight in gold and in hindsight I would have paid double for her service”.
I am sad our journey with Cheryl is over however hopefully we will be able to do it all again! Everyone needs a “Cheryl” in their life and I am so grateful she was in ours.
Not only is Cheryl a beautiful and caring person but she is extremely knowledgeable and passionate about pregnancy and child birth.
We had so hoped and with the help of Cheryl, fully prepared for a natural vaginal birth but our birth plan changed late on, when we discovered our baby was breech and I was scheduled for a c-section. Cheryl was extremely calming and was there every step of the way to help us feel secure and informed about our changing circumstances. We had some difficult discussions with our medical team and Cheryl made herself available for hospital appointments and was an excellent source of impartial advice, which was often required when we felt overwhelmed by hospital protocol and procedures. We do feel, she had a profoundly positive impact on our pregnancy / birth journey. We would have felt very lost if Cheryl had not helped us navigate through our changing situation. In many ways she was able to prepare us for the unknown.
Cheryl has an innate ability to be very sensitive to your need for her presence as well as space. She has a very easy going yet confident nature, which was absolutely invaluable, particularly when it is your first baby and everything is new and scary. My husband felt very supported by Cheryl which he had not experienced from any other healthcare professional.
We have no family in Australia and we were particularly grateful for the postnatal support we received from Cheryl. From helping me to express colostrum in hospital post surgery, to dropping off delicious food at home for us, to answering emails about windy babies! Oh and her response time to emails and phone calls is absolutely phenomenal!
Thank you Cheryl for everything. We are very sad our time with you is nearly over xx
Cheryl is an amazing doula!
I've benefited from her services for all 3 of my pregnancies and births.
She's professional, incredibly knowledgeable and provides emotional and physical support along the whole journey.... From antenatal education, to working closely with your treating team and encouraging them to follow your birth plan and advocating for your choices, to gently offering water to sip in between surges, providing (the all to often ignored) Dad support, helping you to dress after you're exhausted from labour or giving you a lasagne after your home!
Cheryl's known in the field as one of, if not the best doulas in Brisbane, with Obstetricians and midwives happy to work alongside her.
I would highly recommend Cheryl Sheriff to any soon-to-be parents seeking their ideal birth!
Cheryl provided us with the knowledge and information to make us feel confident and excited for the birth of our baby. We had planned for a calm water birth, but events took an unplanned change of direction! Instead of being stressed about this, with Cheryl's assistance I was able to remain calm and positive - resulting in a birth which although wasn't as planned, was just as wonderful. A few days after the birth I felt disappointed and worried that I had let down my baby by not achieving the birth we had planned for. Cheryl's postnatal care was just as valuable and we talked through the birth. I now realise that this was a ridiculous thought, and whilst things did not go to plan, that our beautiful, healthy baby boy Chester is all we could have wished for and I'm proud of myself. If (hopefully when) we have another baby, I would love for Cheryl to be there again to empower me with the confidence to achieve another amazing birth.
“ Cheryl became our counsel, our rock, our calm as we transformed from two to three and from three to four. She will always have a special place in our lives and hearts. ”
Lynn
Give yourself the best chance of a positive birth in a hospital setting. A new book by one of Australias leading doulas, Cheryl Sheriff.
Sharing wisdom from her 30 years experience as a midwife and doula, and her presence at over 1000 hospital births.
After reading this book you will have more direction, and feel confident, excited and less daunted by the experiences to come.
